You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
