we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
