I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize