My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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