shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
