Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize