Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
