last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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