His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
