dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
