you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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