We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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