Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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