I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
