a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
