remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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