I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
