she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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