it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
