he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
