Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
