Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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