she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
