I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize