My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
