none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want to stick my p in your. b.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
