the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
