Apparently you make a good broom.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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