I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
