do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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