your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
