So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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