She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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