fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
