After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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