If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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