Define "chronic" masturbator.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Come see our sink grown plant.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm having to shit out rocks
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
