I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize