I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
