Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
