Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can you bring me the toilet please
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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