Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
