Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
