margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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