Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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