eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it hurts more in the daytime
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
