Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
