I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize