he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize