Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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