did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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