I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
