there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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