I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
