she was so not down for the gang bang
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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