the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize