at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize