I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When did angry sex become our thing?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
