I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
