"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
