I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
