he thought i was a dude.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
