**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Congratulations! We have a period
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