I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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