i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
