omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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