Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
