"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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