You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
