haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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