It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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