Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We have started to decorate penises.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
