Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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