just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize