If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
