I got chris browned last night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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