How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
